Who is there for the man? He deserve flowers too 💐

• by Salimat Oluwakemi Garba

Oftentimes, he is expected to be there for everyone – his family, the helpless woman on the street being assaulted, the random child getting bullied, the neighbour whose house is on fire, the girlfriend expecting a dinner date, the lawn needing mowing, or friends wanting to hang out at the pub all day. But who is there for the man?

• Picture: Freepik

Society has drawn up this unspoken job description for what a “real man” should be and not living up to it risks being labelled “not man enough” or “lacking masculinity.” But really, who made these rules? And who says masculinity means: don’t cry, don’t complain, don’t ask for help, just get on with it?

Statistics show that 1 in 5 men have no one to talk to (not even their best friends), and men are three times more likely to take their own lives than women. Men are experts at bottling things up. They’ll crack a joke, get lost in work, hit the gym, or dive into distractions – anything but admit they’re struggling. It’s no surprise that many eventually reach a breaking point.

So, why don’t men talk? Beyond societal expectations, many stay silent out of secrecy, fear of being judged, appearing weak, or letting their ego get in the way. Some would rather suffer quietly than risk vulnerability.

Dear men: it’s time society accepts that you are human too. You feel. You break. You heal. And it’s okay.

Let’s normalise men resting, taking a break, asking for help, saying “I’m not okay,” putting their feet up – not as a sign of weakness, but as a form of refuelling. Let’s normalise giving men their flowers while they’re still here.

Men deserve to be appreciated for all they do. They deserve to be listened to, cared for, pampered, treated with love and respect, and allowed the space to cry, be vulnerable, or just be.Trust me, men love compliments, hugs and softness too. I once complimented one – his face lightened up and then he said, “I’m not used to receiving compliments.”

We often hear, “Happy wife, happy home.” But what about the husband? Can a sad husband create a happy home?

James Routledge, the founder of JACK – an author, counsellor, and mental health advocate shared his personal journey at a recent event on how he struggled with his mental health.

He highlighted how dominant male culture can be harmful – not only to men themselves but to others around them. He explained that men with more feminine traits seem to experience better love lives and longer-term relationships, therefore, men should learn to be kinder, more empathetic, more honest, and more real, but should never forget to always put themselves first.

• Picture: Freepik

James emphasised the need for a shift in narrative and encouraged the joining of value-driven men’s groups that prioritise emotional connection. “When men come together, good things happen.” Spending weekends with friends, drinking, drugs, womanising and suppressing your feelings isn’t what defines.

Men go through difficult times too and sometimes genuinely struggle with their mental health and when they do, what the people in their lives can simply offer is listening, patience, empathy and reassurance. Just let them know it is okay to feel.

Let’s all pay attention to the men in our lives, show them we care and remind them we are here for them if they ever need us. And yes – let’s give them their flowers, too.

• Picture: Freepik

Send a kind message today. Compliment that man you care about. Ask him “how are you really?”

Is there a man in your life who could use some softness today? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comment 👇